for once i could be brave (dreamsighted) wrote,
for once i could be brave

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you don't care about us

A few years ago I was introduced to Placebo by an awful then-boyfriend when I played Kate Bush for him and he said "I don't like this, but I do like Placebo's cover of Running Up That Hill." I listened to the cover and absolutely hated it. I could not stand Brian Molko's voice. I kept the song on my Zune for ages but never listened to it because I hated hated HATED that voice and the song was too depressing for my taste at the time (for reference, I was listening to nearly nothing but Mike Doughty and Soul Coughing then).

Then I met Brian and he told me that Placebo was one of his favorite bands and I should listen to them. I was in a terrible place at the time, went back and listened to Running Up That Hill again and something about it finally clicked. When I visited Brian the first time we swapped music so I had all the Placebo albums, and I was in love with them.

When I moved back home and started getting lost in my own mind, I'd run to the song English Summer Rain to pull me back out. I started associating Placebo with my delusional thoughts and assigned them second-level significance. I would listen to them for hours and make connections between this song and that one until their albums became spiderwebbed together. I started dreaming that Brian Molko was something of a soulmate and started to think of the two of us as really connected. I was creepy about it. It was almost as bad as when I got all delusional about Mike Doughty back in the day.

Placebo takes up the #2 spot on my page, second to Drive-By Truckers, who I've never had a delusion about somehow. Mike Doughty's moved down to the #4 spot, partly because he's become such a stick in the mud and his new music is nowhere near as good as Skittish and Rockity Roll (blah, and I had just high hopes for Sad Man Happy Man. Now I'm not even excited about his next album).

And I have the biggest crush on Brian Molko. Like seriously. omg. I got over my whole pretty boy thing years ago, but he's just too adorable to pass up. I don't like the weird hair thing he has going on now, it looks more grunge than is fitting, but he's got such pretty eyes and lips and mmmm.

I still think he's a soulmate. I still think we've got a lot in common. It's silly I guess, I think his songwriting style is closer to mine than any other artist I know of, and I'd love to be able to spend a few days picking his brain about his inspiration and the stories behind certain songs, and to find out exactly what mental illness he's got (because it's obvious there's something going on, where else would Meds have come from?) and all that, and possibly making him fall in love with me.

I don't get all gushy about celebrities anymore really, but seriously, something about Brian Molko makes me all gooey. I know he's one of those guys that crazy girls crush on, but seriously, I can't help myself.

Chrissie just called, we're gonna go hang out with Wes for a while. Wes is moving to California, this is probably one of the last times I'll get to see him.
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